“Cause what you don’t understand if I’d catch a grenade for ya. Throw my hand on the blade for ya. I’d jump in front of the train for ya. You know I’d do anything for ya.”
Yes, Grenade always reminds me of someone. Someone I’m crushing on. I always hear this song and yes, this is a special song for me.
Talk about him. It’s been 8 months and I still stuck on him. I don’t know why, but believe me, move on is not easy. Yes , I don’t lie, MOVE ON IS THE HARDEST THING TO DO. Yes, I’ve tried to move on and the result is : I failed.
There’s something tells me not to move on because if one day he notices you, you’ll regret. Yes, regret. I don’t know what should I do. If I stay, I’ll get hurt, but waiting on something that wouldn’t happen? Well, I’ll stay but, 8 months and nothing? Somebody kill me, please. Should I give up?Or should I just keep chasing pavement? Even it will lead nowhere? Yes, you’re right, Gaga, loving someone is cherry pie.
I always share my story to my-boy-friend, I mean just friend. He’s Kevin. He’s weird but I think he’s always there when I need him. He always understands me, sometimes he makes me feel so mad and sometimes he’s my mood booster. He always cheers me when I’m feeling so down because my crush. He’s a good guy. Haha I think.
One day I tell him. I tell him that I’ve done with this waiting. I give up. I care too much, I get hurt too much and he tells me ‘You have to move on.’ And I reply ‘You said move on, where do I go?’ then the conversation is over.
Yes, he’s right. I have to move on but I told him that move on isn’t easy. I’m afraid if I’ve moved on, the memories will come to me and I fail again but if I didn’t move on I’ll get hurt and I will call myself is ‘Stupid-girl-who-always-waiting-something-that-wouldn’t-happen-and-she-just-stands-here-and-see-him-with-another-girl’ haha. And finally I’m tired and think ‘He is not good for you, silly girl.’ And tadaaa I’ve moved on.
Talk about my boy-friend, Kevin. Every night he always texts me. He always knows about my feeling. He always makes me feel so comfort and happy. Unlike my old crush, oh no, I mean he’s not my new crush. He is just my-boy-friend.
God, please don’t let me to like him, because I don’t want our friendship will awkward. Just let me to be his good friend. Let us be the best friends but he gives me something that I can’t understand. He treats me well. He gives me different feel, more than just a friendship. So complicated. And I can’t lie to myself and I finally say : I’ve moved on and yes, I’ve got crush on you, Vin. I know it’s so weird but I can’t help this feeling.
lovember, lol, I mean
November. I think I’ve moved on and yes, I have a new crush. But I doubt to
call him ‘My new crush’ but yes he is my crush. At first we are not awkward. We
act like best-friend but something has made us so awkward.
It is 8th December. He tells me that he likes me and he makes me so speechless. Should I tell him that I like him too? Well, I reply, honestly I like you too. After that my friendship is more awkward. Only silence between us.
It is January. It is Monday. It is 14th. It is a beautiful day. He says ‘Would you be mine?’. Oh, God, speechless. I don’t know that he will do that. What a brighter day, dude. You’ve made my day. Now we’re dating but we are still be good friends. We’re dating but we act like friend, protect like brother and sister and arguing like our parents. LOL. I’m so glad to be with him. I want our relationship long last but I know we won’t be together forever. Someday one of us would leave the memories and talk about our future like we had a clue. Never plan that one day I’d be losing you. In another life I would make you stay. I just want to say thank you for all of you’ve done, I’m glad to be yours, I’m happy to spend my day with you. And at the end I just want to say you’re the best, no more mistake, please and stop talking about may past because in your eyes I’d like to stay. Bye xoxo.