Rabu, 23 Maret 2016

Minggu, 20 Maret 2016

Dear, You.

I do love you. I always do. I'm sorry if lately you didn't see me smile. I don't even know what really happened to me. You said that you almost give up on me, but you didn't. Maybe too much tears for this month. Sorry for the drama I've made. Maybe I got little bit jealous. I was jealous because I was afraid that you will find another me-who is better than me, prettier than me, etc.

Sorry if I made a huge mistake. I'm so childish and maybe you were getting tired of me. I always wanted to be with you. All the time. I am lonely here without you, Darl. That's why I always want to be with you all the time.

I just wanna be with you, because everthing about you resonates happiness.

I know you have a big responsibilities of yourself, your family, and me. And I'm really sorry that I always think that your responsibilities are about me. I just know that your responsibilities of your family is number one. I'm really sorry.

I know you need some companions to share your story. I know I'm not that enough, you need someone else to share your story, but I'm so childish, I get jealous when you have a new companion. I'm afraid that she will be better than me, then I'm afraid that I would lose you.

You said that you won't text her again. You promised me. "I rather lose one friend than I lose you,"

But I don't want to reins you, Hun.

Be strong, Darl. You are the strongest man alive. You have through so much pain, and please don't ever think that you are alone. I'm here for you to be your healer. I'm here for you to calm you down.

I know you are getting tired of me but you don't want to say it because you just want me to be happy. Because I am your priority. You will do anything for me. You don't want me to get hurt. You don't want to see me cry. Because you say that you are the only protector. I am all alone here and you say that you always be in the front line if anything happens to me.

I know you always do your best for me but I'm too stupid to realize. Sorry if my ego is big, but I'm begging you, Please don't give up on me. Don't give up on us. I love you.

Rabu, 09 Maret 2016

A Total Eclipse Of The Heart

War is all I think about. How dare you to do this to me. Of course I am mad. I'm tired. I get dysfunctional and I'm so sick of anything that you have done.

My heart is beating hard when I know you did the thing that makes me so fuckin disappointed.

It hurts me a lot, dear.

Don't you dare to touch me or hug me. I hate you a lot.

I trust you, honey. I fucking trust you.
I always did.

You've promised me for a thousand times that you love me and everything.

But I am sick to be in love.
I am tired.

But in the other side, I need you a lot. I say that I don't need your hug. But my body keeps telling you, "Yes, I need that".

Then you try to calm me down and explain everything. You say that you won't do it again. You promise. And, as always; I trust you, honey. I fucking trust you. I always do.

Hoping that the problem is over, but there's still scar on me.

Please heal me. Because you are not just scar maker, but also my healer too.

I love you. I fucking love you.
I always do.

Senin, 07 Maret 2016

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart.

...... but, I love you.

I give up

I give up.

I shouldn't be that jealous of her because you've told me so many times that I am The One.

I give up.

You said that you lose your friend day by day. "It's called grow up," you said. And now you need somebody to talk to.

I give up.

She means too much for you. I knew that.

I give up.

I shouldn't be that insecure.

But I am.

You know, she used to be your big crush.

A big big crush.

I give up.

It's up to you.
It's up to you now.


I've told you a thousand times but you never listen. It hurts me a little when I see you doing your bad habits then in the other day you complain that you are not feeling well. It hurts me a little when I don't see you well. And it hurts me a little when you getting mad because of the "thing" that kill you slowly.

It's up to you now. I've warned you, but you don't even give a fuck. It's up to you now. I am tired as fuck.

Jumat, 04 Maret 2016

"She's just friend. It doesn't matter, does it?"

But you used to have a big crush on her. That's the matter.