Kamis, 11 Agustus 2016

Confession

SO, HI EVERYONE!

HOW'S LIFE

Well, today is a.... i don't know how to explain it to you but, It's a different day.

It started when Puti and I felt soooo lazy to go to the collage. I mean.... masih ngantuk tai, so we decided to come late.

BUTTTTT.... dosennya adalah Ketua Prodi DTS which is...

HOW DARE WE TO CAME TO THE COLLAGE AT 8 AM WHEN IT SHOULD'VE BEEN STARTED AT 7 AM AND THE LECTURER WAS A..... ugh.

Shame on us.

Kemudian setelah kelas usai, kita pun memberanikan diri buat masuk kelas. Kalau bukan gara-gara pembagian kelompok buat matkul EBK juga kayanya kita bakal pulang ke kos Puti kemudian... bobo.

Then everything was in a normal situation, 'till Pak Syamsu menyudahkan kuliahnya.

"Wtf, I have to call Apsa to take me to his kost-an,"

Well, but Fajar told me that there was something that he wanted to talking about. So, diemlah aku di kelas sambil main Boomerang sama Puti.

Kemudian momen-momen cheesy pun terjadi,

"Jadi gini temen-temen, aku tuh mau bilang, kenapa ya kelas tuh... *insert something bad here*. Ya... kita intropeksi diri ajalah ya.."

"Barangkali ada yang mau jujur.."

"Bilang aja kalau ada masalah, kita selesaiin di sini,"

Dll, Dsb.


Bentar ini playlist John Mayer-nya lagi buffering bentar






Nah, Fajar pun mengeluarkan unek-uneknya sebagai ketua kelas yang membina kelas yang...... yang mencoba untuk satu.

Hah

Kidding.

He was wondering why... kenapa sih selalu ada gap diantara anak-anak kelas, khususnya para cewe? kenapa sih? ada masalah apa? kenapa sih ga pernah keliatan keluar bareng? kenapa sih kenapa?

Kemudian Fajar pun asked Puti why

Kemudian Puti pun explain everything, about the rumours outside.

No, I'm not going to tell you what did Puti say, because It's not my point.

Dan kemudian semua orang mulai speak up.

Tentang Essa yang ngerasa ga pernah being accepted, Tentang Tata dan Nurul yang klarifikasi bahwa mereka berdua sebenernya ga bener-bener selalu berdua. Tentang Alya yang ngerasa selalu late respond yang mengakibatkan dia ngerasa ga enak padahal dia berusaha berkontribusi buat kelas. Tentang Aji yang ngeluarin unek-uneknya tentang aku dan akhirnya kita bisa damai. Tentang Ridwan yang harusnya nembak Anna karena ada momen yang pas tapi malah disia-siain. Tentang Canda yang ngerasa dulu being hated karena ga ada kuota buat ngirim materi kuliah. Tentang Dadar yang komplain soal pembagian kelompok. Tentang Febri yang ngeluarin pendapatnya tentang pembagian kelompok. Tentang Yuwa yang penasaran kenapa sih Risma dkk akhir-akhir ini jarang main sama Novita??????????? Tentang Yoga bangsat yang komplain ada anak kelas yang kentutnya bau banget like wtf????????????????????? dan yang paling parah adalah tentang Cinta yang selama ini luput dari pemikiran kita-kita.

So, this is the point.

Now I realize that communication is an important thing in a society.

I mean... kita itu makhluk sosial loh. Kita itu mau nggak mau memang bergantung sama orang-orang yang ada di sekitar kita. Kita ga bisa gitu aja nganggep bahwa I'm the precious one so I don't have anyone's helps.

Autis apa ya kalau hidup selalu sendiri. Have an own world.

We can't just judge people based on their look, about the rumours which already spread, based on what you think about that person without knowing themselves.

If only people weren't that judmental.

But I admit that I am.

Aku pernah ada di situasi yang sebegitu bikin aku ngedown dan ngerasa ga ada yang mengerti aku walaupun itu Apsa.

dan aku curhat di buku harianku kayak gini,

".... Sa, have you ever have a friend, a good friend, then now they don't even say Hello or something? Sa, do you feel just okay? Sa, don't you think about the broken heart you get?

Time flies, but I don't know how to fly.

Life fucked me up.

When my people already settled down with their new lifes, but I am here, don't know how to just move on from them.

Time flies and I have to find someone who could teach me to fly.

I miss them. I mean... I have no one. I feel like... I used to have so much friends, and now?

People stares at me like I am a weirdo. A negative affect for them.

I once enjoyed my life when people can talk to me, share the stories, and etc.

But, to be honest.
I just don't get it...

I know I am different.
Totally different because I have my own way to life.
To survive.
To prove to everyone that I am worth.

But those are nothing.
When they can't accept me,
For being who I am.

I am tired to wear this mask.

Being bashed, underestimated, backstabbed, threw away, despicabled, etc by people around me.

How can I survive?

...."

Ya itulah cuplikan curhatku.

Gimana? Kaget?

Kaget Nida yang keliatannya kaya gini sering curhat di buku harian?

HAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHA.

Ya.. di sini sebenernya aku mau jujur ya...

I just can't fit in with them. But I admit you guys are good friends. But there's something that I can't find on them.

Something that I've been searching for a long time.

I just can't explain that "thing".

Nyaman mah mulai ada rasa nyaman, but I always feel there's something missing.

I'm sorry, Guys, If I bother you, kalau aku nyebelin, kalau aku sering bersumpah serapah, sering ngomong kotor dan saru, aku pemalas, aku ga rajin, dll.

Sorry for being a jerk, a bastard, a whore, a bitch, etc what you want to say.

But, please.

This is me. Not being anyone else.

Aku nyaman kaya gini. Aku emang begini.

It's up to you now if you could accept me for who I am or not.

My Dad and Apsa always said that I don't have to be someone else to impress people. It's my life. Do whatever I want to do. I have a beautiful life. I have so much people who love me for who I am. I am surrounding by people who can appreciate me for who I am. And I don't have to worry about the rumours. Because I am the one. I can't be duplicated.

And I realize everyone is special with their own way to life. To survive.

"Cause life is just too short to keep playing the game" - John Mayer.


If only I could get fucked by John Mayer it will be great.

Maaf kalimatnya ga pantas.

So, temen-temen A'15, semoga dengan adanya momen seperti ini, kita dapat mengerti diri kita masing-masing dan orang lain. Bagaimana orang-orang memandang kita, dan mengapa demikian kita dikata seperti itu, dan bagaimana kita menyikapinya dan memberitahu mereka tentang yang sebenernya terjadi. Semoga ini menjadi pelajaran buat kita semua, khususnya buat aku yang selengean kaya gini.

We are different. We are unique. We are one.

So, cheers for our togetherness!

Aku ngga nyesel kok kenal kalian.

With love, Nida The Slut.



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